The Need to Feel Real
by DiscoFan88
Summary: Annalise was nervous. She didn't know why. Okay, she did know why. Olivia Pope was coming to Philadelphia. Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder are the intellectual property Shonda Rhimes and Peter Nowalk respectively. No profit shall be made from this work. It is intended as an homage and kiki only.
1. No Nice Things

Chapter 1: No Nice Things

Annalise was nervous. She didn't know why. Okay, she did know why. Olivia Pope was coming to Philadelphia. And Annalise was a mess. Yes, she won her case, Lahey vs. The State of Pennsylvania. But life was still hectic. She was still living in a hotel. She was still unemployed. She took cases here and there. But her mind still wasn't right. Yes, Laurel had her baby. And that had been a joy. But she could tell that something was off about her. She can't help but think back to that night when Laurel went to visit her mother. She came back with scratches on her arm…

But Annalise was too overwhelmed to deal with any of that mess. Right now she was trying to stay focused on being a host to Olivia. She was standing in the lobby of Olivia's hotel waiting for her to come down.

Annalise paced, stomach in knots. Her nervous energy was so contagious that passersby stared at her out the sides of their eyes. She couldn't stand still. Why was she like this? She had never been this nervous around Olivia before. Maybe it was because Olivia was used to nice things, and right now Annalise didn't have nice things to offer.

"Annalise!" Olivia was all of a sudden right next to her.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't notice you. In my thoughts…" Annalise stuttered.

"No worries. How are you?" Olivia seemed more animated than usual.

"Oh, I'm alright." Annalise let out a nervous chuckle as Olivia swung her arms over her shoulders and brought her in for a brief hug. A gesture that was a little out of character for Olivia.

"So, I was thinking that we could get some dinner and relax tonight, and then we could start working first thing tomorrow," Olivia said. The official reason Olivia was here was to follow up on Annalise's case. As well as talk about Annalise's career… or rather _lack _of one.

But that was all just negative talk inside her head. "Yeah, dinner would be great. I know this great Burmese place in Chinatown, 9th and Arch. It's called Rangoon."

"Sounds great."

"I have my car."

"Let's walk. We don't need to worry about parking and traffic."

"Agreed, let's go!" Annalise said cheerfully. "Honestly, I wouldn't peg you as the type that likes to walk places."

"You'd be surprised," Olivia said, a subtle smile flashing across her lips.

The two women walked in silence. Annalise would give a shy glance over to Olivia, and Olivia would smile back briefly before both women turned the other way.

They arrived at the restaurant. The interior was decorated with traditional Burmese art. Olivia said something to the hostess that Annalise couldn't make out. The hostess, an elderly Asian lady in her 60s, led them to a booth in the back.

The hostess poured them water. Olivia said something else as the hostess handed them their menus. The woman smiled at both of them and walked back towards the front.

"You speak Burmese," Annalise said, registering what was happening.

"Not well," Olivia said. "But I know a few key phrases. My Dad made sure that I knew at least a phrase or two in almost every language."

"Wow, here I was thinking I was taking you on an adventure by getting Burmese, but you already speak the language!"

"Don't worry, I've never had the cuisine before. I appreciate you taking me here," Olivia said, her eyes softening.

In that moment, Annalise reached her hand across the table and grazed Olivia's. Both women were gazing deeply into each other's eyes when the waiter came.

Olivia ordered for both of them in Burmese. _She's a bit of a showoff, _Annalise thought to herself. _But she's a cute showoff._

"So, a lot of these plaintiffs are getting new court dates," Olivia started.

"Yeah, but the funding for the Public Defenders has been delayed. The state claims they don't have the money. But they're building private prisons. So that has to be a lie."

"Local DC activists supported by the Grant Foundation are reaching out across the nation on this very issue," Olivia said, pausing to stare at Annalise's hand, which remained in its spot lightly brushing against Olivia's.

"I'm glad to hear it. But I'm going to be taking on some of these cases that were covered by Lahey. And if this funding doesn't go through, then there's going to be a whole lot more mess in the courts, and that's going to affect my ability to do my job well."

"I understand," Olivia said calmly. "We will get to the bottom of this."

"Will we?" As soon as the words left Annalise's mouth, she regretted it. She didn't want to sound like she was doubting Olivia's abilities.

But Olivia didn't miss a beat. "Don't worry, there's some bite behind this bark. Trust and believe. I can be a real bitch when I want to be," Olivia said as she sipped her wine.

"Hey, no arguments to the contrary here," Annalise replied.

Both women laughed. Olivia stared at her wine glass pensively. "Does it bother you that I ordered wine?"

"Heavens, no! Enjoy yourself. I'm responsible for my own alcoholism at the end of the day. Besides, I'm not really the wine type."

"Well, I'm glad that I'm not bringing you back to a bad place," Olivia said taking another sip. "You know, I'd like to drink less..." Olivia's voice drifted off and Annalise could see that she went somewhere else in her head.

Annalise was shocked by Olivia's candor, but empathized greatly. The two sat in silence for the rest of the meal.


	2. The Re-Reintroduction

Annalise walked Olivia back to her hotel and drove back to her place. She tossed and turned in her sleep. As soon as morning hit she got ready to head back to Olivia's hotel.

Just then she heard three knocks on the door. "Who in the hell?" Annalise was grumpy. She was not a morning person. She looked through her peephole and was mortified. Butterflies in her stomach. She thought about not opening it. She heard three more knocks come from the otherside.

"Oh," Annalise huffed as she opened the door. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Good morning to you too," Olivia said, brushing past Annalise and putting a white paper bag down on the modest kitchen counter.

"You can't just show up to people's places unannounced!" Annalise blurted out.

Olivia seemed distracted. She was looking around, sizing the place up the way she did people.

"How do you even know where I live?"

"I have my ways," Olivia said turning back around.

Just then a mouse scurried across Annalise's kitchen floor. Annalise's gaze met Olivia's before she turned around panicked. To be living in squalor and exposed to Olivia Pope! Chic Olivia Pope. Poised and powerful Olivia Pope. Strong Black woman in a white man's world Olivia Pope.

"Why me, God?" Annalise asked, looking upward. "Please just strike me down now and spare me any extra humiliation!"

"Annalise, stop freaking out. That can be handled. I can call an exterminator. But what you really need is to get out of this apartment."

"Uh, yeah, ya think?" Annalise retorted.

"Eat," Olivia said pointing at the white paper bag. "We're gonna have a long day of work ahead of us."

The two of them worked all day and well into the night. Olivia could be a bit of a task master. But Annalise expected nothing less.

As the evening wore on fatigue caught up to both of the women. Annalise was looking at different legal briefs. Olivia was looking over the state and city budget. At a certain point, Annalise looked over and saw that Olivia was no longer working, she was staring into the distance with that same pensive look from earlier.

Annalise tried not to stare, but wondered what could be bothering Olivia. She always had a certain countenance about her.

Olivia looked over at Annalise and then looked down at the other woman's hand on the armrest next to her. She moved her hand over Annalise's, then pulled it back. She shook her head silently, as if trying to make a decision.

Annalise couldn't take it any longer. "Look, if you have something to say, say it. I've never known you to not speak your mind."

"It's just…" Olivia took a deep breath and put her hand directly on Annalise's, which would have made the lawyer blush, but for her melanin.

"I'm sorry," Olivia said softly, looking down at her hand over Annalise's.

"For what?" Annalise asked.

"What you said in the hair salon. About me being me being bougie."

"I believe the word I used was, 'sadiddy,'" Annalise said, trying to lighten the mood. Annalise wasn't used to vulnerable Olivia Pope.

Olivia didn't laugh. Her eyes remained on their intertwined hands. "You were right. I was judging you. It was… colorist. And classist. I… do look down on people. I was raised with a silver spoon. I've been handed things."

"Okay, maybe so, but look at what you're doing now. You're helping people. You're helping me-"

"Still, it was wrong. And I'm sorry. This is an apology."

"It's okay-"

"Annalise! Please…" Olivia sighed deeply and placed her right hand over her chest much like she had done in the salon. She turned firmly and said, "Allow me to re-reintroduce myself." Now she was looking directly into Annalise's eyes. The shadow of sadness had thoroughly beset the younger woman's features, and Annalise couldn't help but be shocked. "My name's Olivia Pope, and I'm apologizing for my classist and colorist behavior. Now you can either accept it or not. But… stop circumlocuting."

"Okay, your apology is accepted," Annalise said, putting her other hand over Olivia's. She got chills as she saw Olivia smile and look down at the armrest. "Nice use of the word circumlocuting, by the way."

Olivia was silent. Annalise felt for her. "Let me cook you dinner. I know this place ain't much. But it does have a gas range stove." Annalise expected Olivia to say no, she was used to the best after all.

"That sounds nice. I could use a home cooked meal," she said, drifting off into her own thoughts.

Annalise cooked the two dinner all the while looking back over at Olivia who, despite her preoccupations, continued to work diligently. Part of Annalise admired Olivia's compartmentalization. But the other half of her could see the spiritual torment swirling beneath those fine features. And she was worried.

The next day Annalise did not know where they were going. Olivia had asked her to close her eyes on the drive over.

As soon as they got out Olivia said, "Okay, open them!"

Annalise saw a dilapidated, boarded up building, a liquor store sign adorned the faded building's facade. They were however many blocks below South Street. Well into the hood. Why was Olivia bringing her here?

"This is your new office," Olivia said.

"Okay…"

"It's part of a block grant program. This building is being reserved for Black owned business and service providers. Now, you need matching funds, but don't worry about that. I've got it covered. And you'll need to report quarterly on how your program affects youth, as that is the primary goal of the grant. But your work will affect the children of your clients, so you're not lying," Olivia said, giving Annalise an uncharacteristically impish smile. Olivia crossed her arms and gave a slight roll of her neck, the way she did when she knew she was about to be challenged. She was waiting with relish.

"Oh, okay. I… I can't take your money."

"Annalise, take it! Let me help you. That's what I get paid to do, help fix problems."

"But I'm not paying you! I can't afford to pay you what you deserve."

"You're paying me by keeping me company and cooking for me."

Annalise was shocked. "I didn't know my company was worth your retainer!"

"It is, it's worth more than that," Olivia said softly. "It means a lot. I grew up with a father who valued power and money over people. I've never wanted for money. But I've wanted for friendship. Especially a Black woman's friendship." Olivia crossed her arms tighter. "This is what I want, to help you." Looking back up at Annalise, Olivia smiled and said, "Let's go look inside."


	3. Black Women Bonding Over Social Justice

A month had elapsed, and Annalise had to admit, things were slowly but surely getting better. Much like Olivia had said. The new office was coming along. Her former students were getting along.

Olivia had arrived back in town yesterday, this time with Marcus. Annalise had her first court date in about a month. She was defending a minor who had been tried as an adult on a felony possession with intent to distribute charge.

She and Olivia worked at her desk, reviewing arguments for the case, while the rest of the crew worked in the hallway.

Oliver was busy getting all of the computers online, while Michaela worked on alphabetizing all of the case files. Marcus, Connor and Asher were busy unloading and assembling office furniture down the hall.

Oliver was getting the internet up and running. He was deep in the throes of his own neuroses when he heard laughter coming from Annalise's office. He peered through the glass door and saw Annalise and Olivia cackling like old friends. Over what, he did not know. But he couldn't help but notice how Annalise slowly moved her hand down Olivia's arm and then gave it a gentle, playful punch.

"Olivia, he's your esteemed colleague! You know you wrong for that one, girl," Annalise chuckled, her voice alto and playful.

"You're only saying that because you know I'm right," Olivia retorted smugly, a glint in her eye.

"Girl, that was shade."

"Doesn't mean it's not the truth," Olivia said smiling warmly at Annalise, leaning into the older woman ever so slightly, just enough to make contact, before leaning back. Her face all of a sudden serious, focused, stoic. Back to the matter at hand. "Okay, so let's go over your talking points. Medical marijuana can't be the crux of your argument, " Olivia said, talking with her hands as usual, her gestures firm and deliberate. "We need something that makes your client relatable to your average juror." Olivia placed her right hand behind her neck as she began to read over the documents

Oliver had always been a bit more perceptive than the rest of the group. Sure, they were lawyers in training, and he was just the tech guy. But they were so caught up with their drama filled lives, they often didn't take the time to notice the finer details. But Oliver was also paranoid, and had generalized anxiety disorder. He sometimes saw things that weren't really there. It was a fine balance. But he was sure that there was something going on between Annalise Keating and Olivia Pope.

But he had to make sure.

"Any luck with the server thingie?" Michaela asked.

"Yeah. At first the server didn't seem to recognize our IP address for more than an hour at a time. But I think I got the hang of it now."

"Good! You deserve a break," Michaela suggested.

"Maybe," Oliver said slowly. Should he mention it? Should he even speak it into existence? Was he unintentionally stirring the pot?

"Fuck it, do you think there is something going on between Annalise and Olivia Pope?"

"Sure there is, they're two Black women bonding," Michaela replied nonchalantly.

"I mean, more than… bonding…"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, are they…" Oliver inhaled and then let it all go in one solitary gust, "romantically involved?"

"Oliver, I'm going to go get tacos. I can't with this right now," Michaela said dismissively.

"Think about it. All the late night meetings. The way Annalise always laughs nervously when Olivia's around. The way Olivia always smiles when Annalise is around. They give each other excessive hugs. Neither of them is a hugger. And then when they're working together, it's like they're… flirting…"

"I'm leaving," Michaela huffed.

"I'm just saying-"

"Listen, I have enough trouble dealing with my ex-boyfriend and my one-time fuck buddy being under the same roof without you making up some gay rumour about Olivia and Annalise. They are two powerful Black women bonding over social justice. That is it! Remember what Annalise said, 'We're good people now.' Well, I suppose you've always been a good person… But still, stop stirring the pot."

"Did someone say pot?"

"Asher, could you be more of a stoner?" Connor said walking in from outside.

"Hey, we all have our vices. Besides, I don't smoke on the job. I am focused," Asher replied.

"Listen, I'm going to get food. You weirdos can stay here talking nonsense, or join me. Either way, I need to get out of this office because being in close quarters with y'all is driving me crazy," Michaela exclaimed.

"Sounds good," Oliver said, albeit with a preoccupied look on his face.

"Cool," Marcus said, walking over to get his coat. "I'll go get Olivia and Annalise."

Marcus knocked on the door, "Hey, sorry to interrupt, but we're going to get lunch. You two want to join?"

Olivia and Annalise looked at each other, obviously trying to read each other's intentions. "We had a big breakfast," Annalise said.

"Yeah, we'll eat after we wrap up here," Olivia said.

"Want me to grab you something?" Marcus followed up.

"Don't worry about it. I'll cook us chicken and greens at my place tonight," Annalise replied,

"Yeah, it's handled, we're going to try and finish this preliminary argument."

Marcus looked at Annalise and then at Olivia with a look of faint recognition. "Okay, see you in forty-five."

Marcus closed the door behind him. As he walked away he heard Olivia erupt in laughter. "Annalise, you are too much!"

It was unlike Olivia. Marcus shook his head. He couldn't help but feel like there was something more going on between the two of them than they let on.


	4. Can You Blame Me?

Annalise was driving Olivia back to her hotel. "Be honest, this is probably more protein than you've gotten in the past ten years. All that popcorn and wine. Olivia, you gotta increase your intake of healthy fats. You need to start eating avocados on the regular. You're cold all the time!"

"When did you become a nutritionist?"

"Nate, not the face case guy, his son. He's been helping me get myself back together. Sort of like you have, but in his own way."

"He's your boyfriend?" Olivia asked, more as if it were a casual clarifying question. It was as if she had asked Annalise about the time, or where the nearest gas station was. There wasn't a hint of jealousy masked underneath that curiosity. And Annalise was disappointed.

"It's complicated."

"Been there." Olivia put her hand behind her neck, inhaled and looked out the passenger window as the buildings changed from housing projects and low rise apartments, to high rises, convention centers and corporate storefronts.

Annalise pulled into a side street right by Olivia's hotel on Locust. "Well," Annalise said, her voice muted, gentle in tone. She gathered up her courage. _Now or never. _

Annalise placed her hand over Olivia's. "Listen, I've really enjoyed these past few months. Even when you're not here, just being in contact with you has been pretty great."

"I appreciate that. I… feel the same way," Olivia said, her right hand still slipping behind her neck occasionally.

"So," Annalise said, moving her thumb in gentle circles over Olivia's hand. "I was thinking… we could get to know each other… more…" _Now or never, Annalise._

"Annalise, spit it out. I've never known you to not speak your mind," Olivia said, borrowing Annalise's line from earlier.

"More intimately. I guess, is what I'm trying to say. I can't believe I'm even saying this out loud, but...!" Annalise looked over at Olivia coyly. "What do ya say?"

"Annalise," Olivia said looking skeptically at the older woman sitting next to her, and then suspiciously at Annalise's hand over hers. As she looked back up at Annalise, she had a hint of a grin on her face. She gave her eyes a slight roll that Annalise didn't take as shade, it was more her reaction to things. She was clearly taken aback, but only a little.

"I'm flattered, really I am," Olivia said earnestly. "But, I'm not interested in that kind of a relationship with you. But I am excited to cultivate our friendship."

Annalise would have expected Olivia to move her hand away by now, but she hadn't. Olivia's face narrowed as she added, "Anyways, I'm not gay."

"Neither am I, but you can't blame me for trying!" Annalise replied, slyly tucking her chin and grinning at Olivia.

Olivia rolled her eyes severely this time. "You are a basketcase."

"Right back at ya!"

"Good night, Annalise," Olivia said pulling her hand away.

"Good night, Olivia. I'll see you tomorrow."

Olivia walked away, her normally buoyant stride all of a sudden forlorn and hesitant.

Olivia was deep in the throes of emotion. She was a sensitive soul. She had always understood this about herself. And yet the world she lived in demanded that she be cold and unrelenting. And Olivia was efficient. Did she get caught slipping? Certainly. We all do. Did she go down some paths that were… suspect morally? Yes, for sure. But her Dad was a war criminal and her Mom a terrorist. These things were almost to be expected.

But it was still no excuse. Sometimes the revelation of Olivia's past wrongdoings stayed with her like a ghost.

Olivia was on her bed reading her book, trying to forget all that. Feeling scattered. Reading was what she did to avoid looking at the news. She needed distance from her work every once in awhile. She was reading _Does Your House Have Lions? _by Sonia Sanchez. She had felt a sense of mourning since David died and Jake got locked up.

She also felt a great deal of mourning when her Mother left for Paris. Her once dead Mother. Her Mother who rose from the grave that was her prison cell deep in the bowls of B6-13.

Olivia thought she would get a second chance. But her Mother didn't want that. She had starved for a Black woman's love all her life.

And now, here comes Annalise. Stubborn, hard-headed Annalise. For all her venomous barbs, she was quite affable, and occasionally goofy. It felt good to have someone to laugh with. But Annalise's admission of attraction was confusing to Olivia. She couldn't figure out why.

After thinking for a moment, she grabbed her phone. She scrolled to Fitz' number. She paused, placing her hand on her forehead. She put her phone down. Grabbing it again, suddenly she scrolled to Mellie's White House number. Finally, she put her phone aside, turned off the lights, and laid back with a frustrated sigh. She stared up at the ceiling, unable to sleep most of the night.


	5. The Business of Gettin' Down

Olivia and Annalise drove over to the office in relative silence.

Annalise didn't take it to be an awkward silence until they finally rolled up on the block. As both both women exited the car, Olivia turned firmly towards Annalise all of a sudden. "Look, Annalise."

Her tone had Annalise a bit shook. "Yeah?"

"We need to be more serious. I've enjoyed joking around with you, but we need to strike a better work balance."

"Okay, agreed. Let's set stricter time limits for ourselves."

"Great." Olivia said stone faced as she pivoted and strutted toward the door. Annalise was expecting a warmer reaction.

In fact, Annalise spent the rest of the day faced by Olivia's cold, humorless demeanor. Which is not to say that Annalise didn't understand. Their client's future was in their hands. They needed to meet certain deadlines, not to mention the whole state-wide debacle. But Olivia seemed to be holding a grudge.

When Annalise went out to eat with the others she asked Olivia if she'd like to join.

The only response she got was a curt, "No thanks." Olivia hunched over the desk, a pencil in hand. Her eyes never leaving the text.

"Okay, bye," Annalise said cautiously.

She got no response from Olivia.

And when she came back from lunch it was more of the same. Annalise had felt really good about things since she disclosed her feelings for Olivia. Olivia declined, and that was that. She tried, it didn't work out. They were still friends. But Olivia seemed to be uncomfortable.

It was close to the end of the day. Everyone was packing up. Olivia was putting her coat on in silence. Annalise had had enough.

"Olivia, what is your deal?"

"What?" Olivia feigned ignorance. A common defense mechanism of hers, Annalise noticed.

"Don't play dumb, Olivia. You've been giving me the cold shoulder ever since last night. Look, if I'm making you uncomfortable, just let me know…"

"Annalise, it isn't-"

"Listen, for the record, I think you're great. But the new me moves on real quick. So there's no need to keep me at arm's length-"

"Annalise, it isn't that-"

"You're obviously perturbed by my presence. And if I've done anything to make you feel that way, then I would prefer you tell me directly. I only want this partnership to work. I agree with you about the work balance, but you can't keep-"

"Annalise, it is not that! Annalise, it's not _you!"_

Both women stood in silence. "I'm going through… it…" was all Olivia could say.

Annalise was shocked. Unsure of what to say next, she simply inhaled and spoke from her heart. "I can tell."

Both women continued to stand in silence. Olivia began to rub her temples. "I'm sorry," she said looking downward.

"No need to be. You wanna talk about it?"

"No, I'll catch a ride with Marcus. I'm sorry, Annalise."

"For what? You're human. You're allowed to go through it. We all do. You're still gettin' shit done."

"Right," Olivia laughed.

Just then Marcus knocked on the door. "Yeah?" Annalise said, turning around. "It's Disco Night at this club in the Gayborhood, MacArthur Park. Olivia, it's right around the corner from our hotel. You two down for a night on the town?"

"I don't know, Marcus. I think I'll just go to bed," Olivia said.

"Well, I could use a night out," Annalise said.

"Should you really, Annalise? There will be alcohol all over the place."

"Says the woman who waved a bottle of vodka in my face in the Supreme Court!"

"Apparently, the bartender's family. She won't serve Annalise a drop, if we let her know what's good. Besides, Oliver, Michaela and I can keep an eye out. Check in with you every half-hour," Marcus explained. "Olivia, you down?"

"C'mon, it'll be fun. You've gotta live life every once in a while. Put those long, graceful legs of yours to use and come dancing with us," Annalise pleaded.

Olivia let out a solitary chuckle as she looked up. "Fine, I'll come for a bit."

The club was loud. Unbelievably so. Bright flashing colors. Black and Brown bodies undulating with abandon. It was overall a gay ass time. And a gay ass time was exactly what Annalise needed. She had been known to cut loose once in a blue moon, and now was her time. But the hedonistic scenery didn't seem to be doing Olivia any favors. She sat in the corner of the bar, looking posh and sullen. Sipping wine, what else? Annalise wanted to go over and check in, but the throb of early sub-808s was pulling her out onto the dance floor. _I can't be responsible for someone else's melancholy, _Annalise thought as she two-stepped her way into the spotlight.

Over at the other end of the bar Asher and Marcus were standing awkwardly. Marcus felt guilty. He had apologized to both Michaela and Asher.

But that just made things more awkward, because now Asher felt conflicted about hating such a stand up guy. That and the fact that Marcus kept a cordial distance from Michaela. Asher hated to admit it, but he was almost _jealous _of Marcus.

"This case we're working on, it's pretty crazy, right?" Asher started. "I mean medical marijuana is legal in Pennsylvania. And I've been known to, you know, imbibe the indica every once in awhile before bed. But I've never been locked up for it," Asher said solemnly.

"Where I'm from, boys get locked up every day for that sort of thing," Marcus said, eyes momentarily clouded by exhaustion. "I practically live in the White House, and yet I can't prevent a boy from getting locked up for a tiny bit of weed. I'm so close to the seat of power and yet I'm powerless."

"Maybe the seat of power for somebody else isn't where you find your power?" Asher offered. "Maybe the community is your seat of power."

"That was surprisingly profound!" Marcus replied.

"You have ethics, Marcus. Trust me, that's hard to come by. Celebrate that."

"How about we celebrate by bustin' out on the dance floor? I can't wait to see what kind of white boy foolishness you pull tonight!"

As the two of them were about to pull away, Michaela, Connor and Oliver intercepted them. "Do you notice anything weird between Olivia and Annalise?" Connor asked.

"I was actually just thinking about that," Marcus replied.

"So I'm not the only one!" Oliver said, turning to Michaela.

"This is ridiculous. You all are running up my blood pressure!" she exclaimed.

"All I know is that at first they couldn't stop laughing with each other, and now they barely even look at each other," Marcus said.

"What do you think is going on between them? I mean, it's just girl talk, right? You don't think they're…" Asher's face shifted as the light of recognition went off behind his eyes. "But Annalise isn't gay, is she?"

"She had an affair with Eve Rothlo that she doesn't talk about. I only know because Wes, god rest his crazy soul, told Laurel who told me," Michaela stated plainly. Just then the light of recognition went off behind _her_ eyes. "I'm starting to see what you all mean."

"Listen, sexuality is more complicated than gay or straight," Marcus interjected. "Maybe it's nothing, maybe it's something. Whatever it is, it's between them to figure out. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I never could resist a good breakbeat. Shall we?" Marcus motioned towards the dance floor and the others followed.

Annalise couldn't quite enjoy herself knowing that Olivia was not having fun. She pulled herself away after singing along to Thelma Houston's "Don't Leave Me This Way." Sweaty, high off of nothing but the adrenaline and endorphins, Annalise pulled herself up to the bar next to Olivia. "Can I get a water?" the older woman asked as she lowered herself onto the barstool.

"Is being at the bar going to trigger you?" Olivia asked, peering over her wine glass.

"I'm here to check on you actually."

"Is that right? I do not need to be checked on. Olivia Pope does not need checking on."

It was then that Annalise realized that Olivia was a bit tipsy. "Can I get another water? Thank you," Annalise said as the bartender handed her a plastic cup. "Are you okay?"

"Why are you acting weird?" Olivia asked irately. Her speech became noticeably slurred as she became more upset. "Ever since you came out to me."

"Technically, I was trying to ask you out on a date, not come out to you. But I've since moved on. As you can see, I've engaged in some aerobic exercise, I am going to rehydrate my body, and then get it in some more. I'm only interrupting my good time to check on a friend. But if you don't want me breathing your air, I'll gladly move on."

"Annalise!" Olivia reached out and grabbed the older woman's hand. Just as Olivia opened her mouth to speak, it happened. Annalise felt it before she heard it. A wave of synths rollicking through speakers. It was Sylvester's "You Make Me Feel."

"Girl, this my song!" Annalise yelled, reversing Olivia's grip and pulling her reluctantly onto the dancefloor.

_You mean, I've been dancin' on the floor darlin'_

_And I feel like I need some more_

_And I feel your body close to mine_

_And I move on love, it's about that time_

_Make me feel mighty real_

_Make me feel mighty real_

Marcus was already uprocking, light on his feet. A minute later he was breaking it down level by level. And Asher was fully engaged in his antics. So much so that he almost knocked Olivia over. Michaela made a clutch save.

But it was mostly Annalise that Olivia was watching. Annalise was powerful, but she could be a bit lumbering. Her shoulders were sometimes hunched, no doubt from decades of stress and tension. Olivia knew Annalise's story. It was her job. But under the lights Annalise achieved youth anew. She pivoted with ease, smile bright and wide. And then, a crescendo and the chorus:

_You make me feel mighty real_

_You make me feel mighty real_

The club rang with the voices of all inside. Both Annalise and Oliver were singing at the top of their lungs. Oliver was a disco head, after all. Olivia couldn't help but be moved by their enthusiasm. She took her jacket off and began the business of gettin' down.


	6. The Need To Feel Real

Olivia was humming in the hallway to herself. Annalise was nervous. All she wanted was to get her back to her hotel room safe and sound. The other woman hadn't had _too too much _to drink. Still she was acting weird. At the office she had expressed feelings of stress and tension. Those feelings did not mix well with alcohol.

"You make me feel…" Olivia hummed softly.

"Olivia Pope is singing tonight?" Annalise asked playfully.

"Olivia Pope is doing whatever she wants," she said swinging into the older woman's airspace so that their cheeks almost touched.

Annalise bashfully tucked her chin and chuckled at the contact.

As Olivia opened the door to let them both inside, Annalise asked, "Now, is it okay if I leave you by yourself?"

"I can handle myself. Marcus is down the hall."

"Okay, if you say so…" Annalise said skeptically. She moved slowly towards the door, still concerned for her colleague, but willing to take her at her word.

Just then Olivia grabbed her hand. "Annalise, I just wanted to say… Back at the bar…"

Olivia stepped back and looked down pensively. When she looked back up she looked Annalise straight in the eyes. "I've been dead inside, recently," she said holding back tears. But just as she began to break down she pulled herself back in and looked at Annalise steadfastly. "I'm trying to… Since I met you, I've learned a lot about myself. My capacity to do good. And when I'm with you, another Black woman... We're not competing, we're not tearing each other down. We're having a good time talking about our health, our work, the things that drive us. It's just…"

There was an awkwardly long pause as Olivia brought her hand to her forehead as if she had a headache. As if the words were swirling around in her mind and she was trying to draw them out.

"I enjoy our time together too," Annalise said stepping closer, when suddenly Olivia opened her mouth once more, the fire of urgency in her eyes.

"I want to feel like a whole person again. I want to feel free in my own body. I want to feel," and at this, Olivia had to chuckle, "I want to feel _real." _This last word Olivia exhaled with all the breath in her body.

"I hear you. I respect-," but Annalise was cut short. Olivia pressed her lips to Annalise's and pushed her against the door.

Annalise couldn't lie. She was ecstatic. _The_ Olivia Pope was kissing her! She smiled into Olivia's lips.

Olivia pulled back briefly, pressing her forehead to Annalise's. Then suddenly she kissed Annalise once more, this time aggressively. Annalise was amused when she felt the hint of teeth. She was even more amused when she felt Olivia's lips trail down her neck to her collarbone. The younger woman's lips followed the mound of Annalise's breast effortlessly. Olivia subtly moved the collar of Annalise's shirt to the side and continued kissing her bra line.

"Okay, wait!" Annalise said, gently pushing Olivia away. She placed her hand under Olivia's chin and leaned it upward. She looked skeptically into Olivia's eyes. "Are you sure about this?" Annalise asked. "You said you weren't interested."

"Annalise," Liv began impatiently kissing the other woman, "I know what I want."

Annalise pulled Liv's face back up to hers. Olivia repeated, this time deliberately and with a mischievous glint in her eyes, "I know what I want." With that Olivia dragged Annalise over to the bed and sat herself down with Annalise standing between her legs looking down at her. Annalise was still worried. Olivia had been near tears earlier and now she was smiling up at her ready to pull her into bed! But there was something about her. The way her arms felt around Annalise's waist. The strength of her, though she was very small. Her face looked bright. Illuminated from within. _I can't believe I'm about to sleep with Olivia Pope_, Annalise thought to herself.

"Okay then, Ms. Thing. Put it on me."

Annalise could not lie. She enjoyed being on top of Olivia Pope. She enjoyed being in between Olivia Pope. She enjoyed being _inside _Olivia Pope. But what she loved more than anything in that moment was how much Olivia clearly enjoyed being underneath her. She reveled in it. She made it look luxurious. She made it _feel_ luxurious.

It was a nice departure from sleeping with men. Liv's lips were soft. Surprisingly plush. Just as her body was surprisingly voluptuous. Annalise always made fun of Olivia for being a skinny bitch. But she definitely offered something to hold on to. And she was generous with it.

With every kiss Annalise let out a low hum, and Liv let out a subtle giggle. It was their call and response. Their way of communicating without words.

Annalise was lost in thought until Olivia deftly flipped the older woman onto her back, reversing their previous position.

"Well this is a surprise!" Annalise said grinning up at Olivia.

"You are in for even more of a surprise," Olivia said, kissing Annalise gently on the lips and looking directly into her eyes, "because I am just getting started." Olivia moved up and kissed Annalise's forehead, then her brow before moving back to her lips. "So just lay back, and try to relax," she whispered before methodically making her way downward.

Annalise couldn't help but let out a shy "Oooo," as Olivia once again began the business of gettin' down.


	7. Goodbye For Now

Annalise was the first to wake up. She looked over at Olivia in disbelief. The other woman was lying still. Just as Annalise began to gently get out of bed, Olivia woke suddenly. A quick exhale and she was up. She looked for a moment as if she didn't know where she was. She looked at Annalise in surprise and then all of a sudden a look of recognition lit her face.

"Annalise," Olivia said, seeming to get her bearings. Her breathing was slightly heavy.

"Hey, are you okay?" Annalise asked.

"Fine."

"You sure? How'd you sleep?"

"Fine," she replied absentmindedly. It half looked as though Olivia had expected to wake up alone. Whatever she dreamt last night must have really worked her over.

Annalise wondered whether or not to share her observations. "Olivia, are you sure you slept okay last night? Do you need some water?"

"I'm fine, Annalise! Please." Olivia was getting her bearings now, and her tone had become curt and flat.

"I need to get ready. Marcus and I are leaving Philly today," Olivia said getting dressed.

"I know. I'll be out of your hair. Just wanted to make sure you were okay after last night-"

"Last night was a mistake, Annalise."

Olivia's words hit her gut.

"Excuse me?"

"We should not have slept together."

"You were pulling _me_ into bed last night!"

"Well, I shouldn't have," Olivia said. "Besides, I'm not gay!"

"It's not about gay or straight!" Annalise hissed. "It's about the fact that we're two human beings who connected last night. You showed me a part of yourself that you don't show everyone. That should mean something to you. Besides, judging from last night, this was not your first time with a woman." Annalise folded her arms and waited for a response.

Olivia looked at her from across the bed and chuckled. "We all know boarding school doesn't count," Olivia smirked. "We were in the mountains. Starved for affection. Of course we fooled around with each other." Olivia's eyes narrowed, as if reminiscing. "But that was decades ago."

"You said last night that you know what you want. But first you tell me you're not interested. Then you practically beg me to go to bed with you. Now you're telling me to scram. But you know what you want?"

"In the moment," Olivia said, hands resting on her neck. "I know what I want in the moment."

"Well, you conveniently left that part out last night!" Annalise huffed.

"I know," Olivia said, looking down. She inhaled, then said, "Look, I'm sorry. My behavior has been… erratic lately. I just…. It's not you. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be having sex with anyone."

"With anyone except Former President Fitzgerald Grant?" Annalise couldn't help but ask. She was thirsty by her own admission.

"Fitz and I haven't had sex in three weeks," Olivia said with a scoff.

"Oh," Annalise said optimistically.

"We're trying this whole, 'getting to know each other again,' thing. But it is difficult because he is so incredibly boring!"

"Did you just call the 44th President of the United States boring?"

"Yes, incredibly so. Look, Annalise… I like you and I want a relationship with you. I just don't know what that looks like." Olivia looked down pensively. When she met Annalise's gaze again, the older woman could see that she was holding back tears. "Be… patient with me," Olivia asked.

"I can work with that," Annalise said. "I'm no one to judge anyone else's life choices. Besides, I owe you an apology. You were under the influence. I wasn't. I don't want you to think that you're some kind of trophy to me."

Olivia perked up. "I don't feel that way at all! Let's go get breakfast before I leave."

"You know, this whole Annalise on top of her game, working for social justice thing might not last. Dead bodies have a habit of piling up at my doorstep."

"You and me both!" Olivia replied.

The two were seated in the hotel restaurant. Olivia looking pensively out the window every now and then.

Annalise didn't know if she should address it, but she felt a responsibility. "You know, our ghosts come in different ways. For me, it was dissociation, addiction. For you it's restless sleep and nightmares. Take care of your ghosts, Olivia. Trust, they will consume you."

"I'm fine, Annalise," Olivia said, sounding slightly annoyed.

Annalise was catching on to Olivia's defense mechanisms. "Alright, I won't pry."

Olivia quickly changed the subject. "Why did you become a lawyer? I asked you before, but you seemed like you were still working it out for yourself."

"Yeah, that's a pretty insightful observation. I get confused. I think originally it was to help people. To help people like me."

"What does that mean?" Olivia followed up.

"People who had to live out of the poor box just to clothe themselves."

"Oh," Olivia's class guilt twisted in her upper chest.

"But then, I went to Harvard and got caught up. I started to run away from what I was. I wanted what the white folx had. The tenure position, white husband, nice house. To the point where I took on cases of dubious moral value. Sold out some of my own people. Defending guilty white boys for dollars, while innocent Black men go to jail. So I don't know anymore."

"But at least you began your career wanting to help people in need. I've never felt connected to that struggle until now."

"But we're all in need, Olivia."

"In need of what?" Olivia inquired. "Justice?"

"Exactly!" Annalise replied leaning in to address Olivia, impassioned. "You are in need. Just as much as that girl who had to rely on the poor box to clothe and feed herself. You said yourself, your own Father, a Black man, taught you to value power and money over people! You need justice just as much as anyone else. In a just world, fathers don't teach their daughters those kinds of values. They teach compassion. Everyone is worth saving, Olivia."

Olivia was taken aback. Her father had said as much to her several years ago. Had called it her purpose. "Everyone deserves the chance to save themselves," she responded quietly, looking at the table, as if still mulling over the concept.

When she looked up she saw Annalise gazing back at her resolutely. "Exactly."

"Well, on that note," Olivia began after an appropriate amount of silence, "I've got to finish packing and then meet Marcus."

"Of course," Annalise said, getting up slowly.

As they walked back to the lobby, Olivia rattled off her usual to-do list. "Now, I'll be back in time for your first day in court. But remember, you'll need to have a preliminary draft of your opening arguments by next week. We also never got to look into the prosecutor's past cases. It will make things easier if we can prove bias. In addition, you'll need to start working on your first grant report, but I can handle that, if you want-"

"Olivia, I know what I've got to do. Relax, stop handling me."

With that Olivia pivoted and looked right at Annalise, that mischievous glint that Annalise loved back in her eyes.

"What if I like handling you?"

Now it was Annalise's turn to roll her eyes. "Goodbye, Olivia," she said, tentatively reaching out to touch the younger woman's shoulder.

Just then, much to Annalise's surprise, Olivia wrapped her arms around Annalise's shoulders and gave her a forceful, yet loving embrace. Annalise's hands fell to the small of Olivia's back, and she could feel the other woman sigh as they swung gently from side to side. It felt nice. A simple display of affection between two powerful Black women.

As Olivia pulled back, she held Annalise's hands. "Be well," she said, earnestly. "Goodbye for now."

"Goodbye for now."

As Olivia turned to walk away, Annalise couldn't help but notice… well…. for lack of a more polite term… dat ass… I mean, it was a miracle! The curvature of that lumbar spine. It was glorious.

Olivia walked midway to the elevator. She turned halfway, as if she felt Annalise's gaze before seeing it. She met the older woman's eyes.

Clearly Annalise felt embarrassed. But just as she was about to admonish herself for the intrusive behavior, she saw Olivia smile ever so slightly. As she walked the rest of the way to the elevator, it was clear she was giving the older woman a show.

She gave Annalise a wink and a subtle smile as the elevator doors closed.

As she walked back to her car, the lawyer could only think one thing, "I'm sleeping with the lady from the TV!" She got in her vehicle and smiled all the way home.


End file.
